Getting Closer

Job decisions. Gah!

I applied for two jobs, got two interviews, and became a finalist for both. One of them offered me a position.

I should be happy and excited about this. People want to hire me because I don't suck. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

But for some reason this has become a very melancholy and overwhelming process.

I realized while being interviewed that I say things like "my company", "my team", and "our software", implying a sense of pride, ownership, and belonging. I've always taken pride in my work, but I don't think I realized how much my company has become a part of me. It's practically part of my identity now, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

That makes me think twice about walking away, especially when the job offer I got isn't a great one. It's not bad, but it's not what I hoped for. I did like the people who interviewed me, and I'm flattered that they were impressed with me even though I'm lacking some of the experience they were looking for. I would probably enjoy their laid back atmosphere. But is that enough? Would I really be better off?

Today my CEO asked to talk to me about why I'm looking for jobs. He told me that the company wants to work with me to solve some of the problems I've been having with the shared workspace, and he said he hopes I'll stay. This is coming from a man who thinks turnover is a good thing for a software team because it gets staleness out and brings new talent in. I guess he doesn't think I'm stale.

After our conversation, the CEO authorized my boss to make me a counter-offer. But my boss took all day to get his shit together, and I didn't hear from him until I had left work and was on my way to workout class. He asked me to talk with him first thing tomorrow. And he said this (I quote): "We're gonna make it an easy decision for you."

Does that mean what I think it means?

Tomorrow I am also meeting with the people who offered me the job to ask them questions and try to learn more about what they do, how they do it, and whether I'd be a good fit there culturally. It should be an interesting, if not hectic day.

I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately... I hope the anticipation of tomorrow's events don't keep me up all night. I really need to be rested for this. Maybe it's a NyQuil night...

A decision will be made soon.