Changes

Wow... where to even start?

I don't think I've been this busy since my last finals week in college. Ok, that might be an exaggeration, but still... it's been crazy.

Joey's been home for just over a month, and we've had some big ups and downs. On the up side, he takes really good care of me. Really. He makes my protein shake in the morning for me, he's been giving Nina her medicine every day, he picks me up from work at lunchtime, he cleans the kitchen when I'm at work, he's made me dinner several times... and he doesn't even ask if it needs to be done, he just does it. It's awesome.

On the down side, he sometimes treats me like I'm one of the assholes he hated living with for the last year in Iraq. He doesn't quite understand my bipolar/depression, or he does but he loses sight of it, and he gets sarcastic, negative, and mean with me. We had a big blow out a couple days ago that took us both a full day to recover from. But it helped. We talked it out... well, more like yelled it out... and we can to an understanding. In the last year, each of us has developed different habits and survival tactics, and now we both have to work hard to adjust to being together again. We're trying. It will be an interesting challenge when we move into our house.

As of yesterday, I am a homeowner. Yay! It feels weird, especially since we're not at all ready to move. When I go inside the house it still feels like I'm looking at someone else's empty house, and all I can see right now are the repairs that will need to be done before we can live there.

I think this is going to be a strange transition for me. I've never done well with major environmental changes, and I've never taken on this much financial responsibility. It freaks me out a little. At the same time, I'm really excited for us to have our own place where we don't share walls with a neighbor, and there's nobody stomping upstairs, and we can do whatever we want to make it ours.

When I see all the repairs that need to be done, I'm caught in the middle between dreading the money and work it will take, and being totally jazzed by the enormous potential. I suppose this is a normal emotional conflict for a first time home buyer. I know I'll get over it after we've lived there for a few weeks.

The house has hardwood floors downstairs, and I really hope that might help with Nina's asthma -- no more gross carpet full of lord knows how many years of dirt and grime.

Nina is still sick, but she seems to be improving. We've got two different inhalers for her, one steroid and one bronchodilator. Her breathing sounds less harsh and she doesn't cough as often. The last time we had a check-up with the vet, he was very impressed that we'd kept up with the inhaler. He said her breathing sounded the best it's been in the last 6 months. That's pretty much all thanks to Joey, because he's able to give her medicine during the day when I'm at work.

Work is... well... work. I'm really at the end of my rope with the environment. I talked to my counselor about during my last visit, and she suggested that I ask for 2 hours away from the group each day. I floated this by a few of my team members, and the same jerky guy who was an asshole before was the only one who challenged it. He doesn't think time away should be scheduled, but taken as-needed. Oddly enough, when I take time away as I need it, he accuses me of non-participation. I can't win with this guy -- and I'm done trying. The team has a few changes in the works that should help improve things a little bit, but it will be weeks before I see any real difference. I think my next step is to go to my manager and ask him to make it happen, with or without team consent.

I've had some odd health issues that I'm trying to get figured out. I've been waiting for weeks to see a specialist. This month my period was late. I've never been late or missed a period before. Naturally, we thought I might be pregnant, but two pregnancy tests were negative. I was starting to worry that something was seriously wrong, but then I finally started my period - 5 days late. Very strange for me. I have some other things going on too, and I wonder if it's all related or just a coincidence. Hopefully the specialist can tell me. At any rate, this is the first time in my whole life that I've felt relieved by the arrival of menstrual cramps. Lol.

Besides that, all the other normal busyness has continued. And now I need to jump on the packing, cleaning and moving, pronto.

I am totally excited for Eclipse and The Last Airbender, both coming out next week! Yay summer movies!