Vent

I'm writing at work. I haven't done this in a while because I can't usually get away with it. But today I'm daring because I really need to vent.

I *HATE* my job.

Yes, I emphasized the word "hate". I feel that strongly.

It's not the work itself. I still love writing software, although not so much that I'm jumping at the chance to learn new languages and technologies. I just enjoy problem solving.

What I can't stand is the way we go about writing software now, and the environment in which we do it. I'm entirely at the end of my rope.

Every day that I come here, I'm unhappy. I'm either sad and on the verge of tears, or I'm anxious and I can't think straight, or I'm angry and I want to punch someone. The only times I'm ever happy are when everyone else has left for the day and I get to sit in a room by myself like the old days.

I'm applying for other jobs, but it's not happening fast enough. There aren't many jobs available. And truthfully, I don't want to leave my company altogether, I just don't want to be part of this department... at least not the current incarnation of it.

Anyway... I have to get back to work before someone catches me venting.

My soul is being sucked away, one day at a time.