Irrational Exuberance

Every Monday, my entire department spends half the day doing technology-related research. Each individual picks his or her own topic. It may or may not be directly related to work. The point is to broaden one's knowledge and keep up with new trends in the industry. The next day, we spend our lunch hour discussing what each of us researched.

While this might seem like a nice perk - one might even call it company sanctioned play time - I hate it. I can't do effective research unless there's a particular problem I need to solve or question I need to answer.

My problems and questions generally fall into two categories:
1.) issues directly related to a project I'm currently working on, in which case they are part of my normal workflow and do not require separate research time, and
2.) trivial questions that have nothing whatsoever to do with work, in which case it's really not kosher to spend work hours researching them.

Since I don't need extra time to address the first category, my afternoon research tends to drift into the second category more often than not. I try to keep it relevant to work, but I'm always just on the fringe, if not completely pushing the limit. I really struggle with what's acceptable.

Case in point:
Once again, I didn't start the afternoon with a specific topic in mind, so I went browsing through technology news to generate ideas. I came across an article about BlizzCon - Blizzard Convention - it's like ComicCon for gamers. Blizzard is the company that makes World of Warcraft, Diablo, Starcraft, and other game titles.

Like ComicCon, BlizzCon is a big deal that makes international news. In fact, I was reading BBC News when I spotted the article about it.

Apparently there was an official announcement at this year's BlizzCon about the next World of Warcraft expansion. It was merely a single line blip in the middle of a full page article, but it was enough that I nearly peed my pants with excitemen and proceeded to follow a dozen links to a variety of websites containing both fact and speculation on the details.

After several minutes, I had to get up and leave the group workspace because I couldn't stop uttering ooooh and ahhhh and omg, no way! while others were trying to concentrate.

Unable to sit still, I went into my coworker's office to bother him about it, thereby distracting him from his own research.

Then I went back to my office and continued reading.

Then I had a minor epiphany that led to the idea of a potential moral conflict.

I love WoW. I didn't know Blizzard was planning to release another expansion so soon, since they just released one last year, so this news came as a big surprise. It really excites me, so naturally I want to read more. But is this what our research time was intended for? Let's think about that for a moment...

Technology related? Yes.

Does it broaden my knowledge of technology in a meaningful way? One could argue that in either direction.

Will this knowledge enable me to do my job more effectively? Doubtful.

Do I care that this might be seen as an inappropriate use of my time? Kinda sorta but not really. I already think an entire afternoon of research is a poor use of time, so how is this any worse?

Will I be able to discuss it with my coworkers over lunch tomorrow? Yes, but not without turning red from embarrassment. That's where the "kinda sorta" comes in. Even though I think research time sucks, I still like to give the impression that I tried to follow the rules.

But in all honesty, my behavior is entirely predictable, and if someone had asked me how I would spend an afternoon each week, if given the freedom to research anything I wanted, I could have told them this is how it would be.

See, I just can't maintain focus during unstructured research time. My brain doesn't work like that.

When I research things on my own time, it always starts with a question about something that excites me. Something I'm burning to know. I analyze the crap out of it, follow links to related topics, and eventually, through a series of ADD-style leaps, I find myself looking at something completely different from where I started. It might be related, or it might be so far away that I'm not even sure how I got there.

In short, I get easily side-tracked.

It's very useful to me, I enjoy following odd paths. Sometimes I have questions that need answers, and to me, this is the most effective way to find them. The context I get by looking at related items is what makes the knowledge so meaningful.

But I can't always explain this to others. People usually don't get my need to know things. Or more accurately, they don't understand how I can casually surf my way to in-depth knowledge about something trivial, while being completely incapable of focusing my energy for one afternoon of research on a serious topic.

And I have to admit, it's a mystery to me too. I don't understand why my brain functions this way.

Everyone else seems to be able to pick a topic and stick with it through the entire 4 hours, and when we have lunch the next day, they can talk at length about what they studied. Some of them even start new side projects based on their research, and come to lunch prepared with code snippets and web pages to show off. Tangible evidence that they learned and that it's applicable to our work.

Not me. I always research the most random things, and my presentation at lunch is almost as scattered as my research. It rarely has anything to do with our work. My coworkers don't get it. It makes me feel a bit retarded that I don't function mentally the same way they do.

All it takes is one little article about BlizzCon to derail my focus toward several hours of tangential link clicking. ... And a non-work-related discussion with a coworker. ... And now this blog.

I am the master of distraction.

Or perhaps distraction is the master of me?

Hmm... that seems like the sort of thought an aspiring Zen master might ponder during an extended meditation.

Anyway... new WoW expansion. I'm stoked! I might actually defect to the Alliance just so I can play the new Worgen race. Werewolf people!

Yatta!!!