Blues

I'm not the type of person to get all sentimental during holiday season, but I must admit that I feel more sad than usual that Joey's not here.

Last year on Thanksgiving he rescued me from a holiday of loneliness (and no turkey) by inviting me to his family's place. That was the first time I met his mom. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday. Mine too.

This year I will be going to my mom's for roast chicken (because my finicky sister won't eat turkey). It will be a nice visit - if I ever get a break from installing and fixing computers. I'm their own personal tech support. That's not really how I want to spend my holiday.

Last year I got all dressed up and went to the army Christmas party with Joe, and then he came to my company's party the following week.

This year, I asked him to help me pick out a dress for my company's party - I sent him some websites I'd been looking at, and he even asked the guys near him for their opinions. (2 to 1 in favor of the sexy berry colored halter.) The dress finally arrived today, and I tried it on. I even danced around in front of the webcam, although I had to email him the video because he's out on a mission right now.

I don't like picking out and trying on a sexy dress when I know Joey's not here to see it. It just seems like there's no point in looking sexy right now.

After I tried on dresses, I put on my wedding dress. It's so beautiful. It reminded me of our wedding outside in the grass under the oak trees. We just barely missed the rain storm that came less than hour later. My dress still has grass and mud stains at the hem.

I love that dress so much, and I'm so "meh" on the sexy dress -- I decided to order a shorter version of my wedding dress in a more festive color (vintage burgundy). It will remind me of Joey in a good way, and I won't feel over-dressed in the slinky halter. (Although I might keep the halter for next year!)

Anyway... I'm just having the holiday blahs I guess. I miss my husband.