Stream Of Consciousness

I've spent nearly every night with the boy for the last 2 weeks. He is wonderful. I could fall in love with him if I let myself. I have been reflecting a lot, but I'm not over-analyzing, and I'm not asking questions. It is what it is, and I'm strangely comfortable with that. At the same time though, I am still holding myself back a little bit. I guess I'm protecting me. I see his defenses falling down little by little. He has introduced me to several members of his family. Last night one of his cousins raised a glass and toasted to me. They all seem to think I'm good for him. I hope I am. I'm trying to be. He sure has been good for me. It's strange how some people can tear you down and make you feel insecure, while others can lift you up and give you confidence. The boy does the latter for me. I wasn't looking for someone to boost my self esteem, I've always tried to find my own strength from within instead of looking for it in other people. But he has this way of saying just the right thing, or looking at me just the right way, or sending me a smiley text at just the right time of day... He lifts me up. I don't know how else to explain it. I smile just thinking about it. How did I get so lucky? Last night we were talking, and he told me he had been wondering how he got so lucky. He radiates this energy sometimes, I can feel it coming out of him. Most of the time I feel that he likes me, that he's comfortable and happy around me. On occasion I feel more than that, and I tremble with affection and fear. I could fall in love with him if I left myself. But it's only been 2 weeks. There's so much more time to spend together, time to get to know each other, even though he feels so familiar already. He has started calling me "his girl". It makes me blush with warmth. I love being his girl. I find myself thinking crazy thoughts, like what if we could be this way forever, what if he is the one? Is that even possible? I don't know how to wrap my head around that, but it creeps into the back of my mind regardless. He actually seems willing to fight me for me. It's shocking. I wake up in the morning and feel surprised that he hasn't changed his mind about me, that he's still here, still holding onto me, in spite of me. I just smile and feel grateful for his presence in my life right now. I'm a very happy and lucky girl.