Whoa There!

At first, I was just going to figure out how to get the marriage license, then schedule an appointment with a judge for a really simple ceremony at the courthouse.

Then I thought about my mom being there, and the boy's mom being there. Then he mentioned his friend wants to come. Then I thought, shit, what if I tell people and they want to come? What if word spreads through the boy's family, and a bunch of them want to come?

If more people show up, I somehow feel more obligated to make it this big thing. Like maybe we should get married some place besides the courthouse. And maybe I should actually wear something nice. Shit, do I need to buy something new?

So I find myself surfing the web when I should be working, looking at white skirts and dresses, and wedding locations, and of course that leads into florists and photographers and caterers, and other beautiful but expensive, time consuming luxuries that I neither want nor can afford. How on earth am I going to do all this by myself, on zero budget, with less than 2 weeks planning time? Then, like a fool, I start looking at wedding planners, because wouldn't it be so much easier if someone else did all the work for me?

Ok, STOP.

What is my deal? All of a sudden, I'm way stressed out about planning a wedding? Why?

I need to remind myself what's important. I shouldn't care what other people think or expect. The only thing that matters is that the boy and I are together. Who cares where our ceremony takes place? Who cares what we wear? If we choose what we want, and it's good enough for us, then fuck everybody else.

All I really want is to get the license, stand in front of a judge, kiss the boy as my husband (at which point I think I might have to stop calling him "the boy" in this blog), and be done with it.

The only thing that makes me sad is that we won't get any sort of honeymoon. The weather's just starting to get nice... It would have been so cool to go camping at the coast or road trip it up to the Olympic Peninsula. But we can postpone it for a year. I know we'll spend lots of quality time together when he's home from the war. I'm so excited for that. :)

*pause*

*deep breath*

I feel better after writing this. Tomorrow I will find out how to get the license, I will schedule an appointment with a judge, and that will be the end of it. Whoever wants to come can come, but I will no longer worry about doing this for anybody but us.