Gathering Focus

Trouble concentrating today, so I decided to write a bit to collect myself.

This may be one of the last times I get to do this at work... today we're setting up a community workspace in what used to be our meeting area. I will still have my own office, I just won't be in it for a majority of the day. Instead, I'll be sitting at a "pairing station" with another developer. All work will be done in pairs now. Shared workspace, shared responsibility.

I'm not sure how I feel about this change. I can see it being positive in the long run, but it's a huge shift for us culturally, and for me personally. When I work by myself, I like to close the door, turn up the music, and get in the zone while I write code. That won't be an option anymore.

I also won't be able to take phone calls from my husband any time I want to, nor can I get away with installing and using Skype at the office. I probably won't even be logged into instant messenger most of the time.

This is different for me. It will bring new challenges.

Joey is packing up his gear to go to Iraq. He leaves some time this week. I'm not supposed to know exactly what date/time (sensitive information), but I do... although it could still change.

Once Joe gets on the plane, he won't have cell phone service again until he comes home. We should be able to talk over Skype, but we don't know how long it will be before he'll have internet access available, or the free time to use it. It could be days or weeks. So when we say our last phone-goodbyes, we do so without knowing when we'll communicate next. That's scary to me.

I'm pretty freaked out about him going over there. Roadside bombs and suicide attacks are still a frequent reality. And with the U.S. withdrawing troops from population centers, the climate is changing. We've seen significantly less violence during the last year or two, compared to the start of the war, but that could change during the transition to the military hand-off.

My deepest prayer is that this will be the most boring and uneventful year of Joe's life. (Sorry baby, but it's only because I want you to come home safely.) I just imagine him sitting on his ass at a well-protected military base, only going out for missions that are brief and routine. Nothing threatening or out of the ordinary. I have this vision of him being hot and sweaty from the desert weather, counting down the days until this pointless job is over, then finally being released to come home.

I can't wait for that.

But right now, I'm trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) not to focus on it, especially while I'm at work. There's already so much chaos in the office, with the transformation of our workspace and processes. As if I need anything else to make my head spin!

Actually, spending most of my time with a coding partner might help me keep my mind off Joe being in Iraq. One of my problems right now is that my mind wanders away from the task at hand, and I start thinking about non-work related topics. With another person sitting next to me to keep me on task all day, that's less likely to happen. So maybe this shift in my work environment is a blessing in disguise.

I love my husband. July 4th was our 2 month anniversary. I can't wait to celebrate 1 year, 5 years, 25 years... 50 years? Maybe if I live that long. ;-)