I have a huge fucking headache today, preventing me from being very productive at work. I took ibuprofen, but it hasn't kicked in yet. Maybe by the time I finish writing this, I might feel better.
The boy wants to read my blog. Should I let him?
Only one person I know in real life has access to this blog, and she and I don't even really talk much anymore. (I miss you, by the way -- you know who you are.) I've kept this place to myself for a reason. I want to be free to write about whatever is on my mind without worrying about how it's going to make people feel. I don't want my coworkers to get angry, or my friends to get hurt. I am honest here, uncensored. And I'm afraid that if someone I know is reading this, and I'm aware of that, I might subconsciously edit myself. I don't want that. I need this place.
On the other hand, it's endearing that the boy wants to get to know me, and of all people, he is one of the few whose presence here wouldn't bother me so much. I want to be open and honest with him, I want him to know what goes on inside my head, although I do have some fears about what he might think... this is a lot for anyone to digest. I write so much, and sometimes even I think I'm crazy when I look back at old posts.
Hmm... I will ponder this decision a while longer.
It's amazingly beautiful outside today -- the sky is bright and clear, and the few trees that still have leaves are colored with gold and crimson. I wish I didn't have to be in the office right now, especially with a headache.
I keep waiting for snow. I bought a season pass to Mt. Hood Meadows again this year, but so far this winter is not off to a good start. The mountain is bare. The only ski run open in the whole state is Palmer Snowfield at Timberline. Palmer is literally a glacier -- it's steep and icy, groomed and re-frozen over and over again. At least once a year in June or July, me and my friends start to jones for skiing, and we contemplate a midsummer trip to Palmer. In the end, we always decide it's not worth the time or money.
Now, we're starting to talk about it again. At this time last year, Meadows was open, and we were there. Two years ago, the river flooded and washed out the road to Meadows in both directions, so we settled for Timberline for a few weeks until the road was repaired. But even then... there were more runs open at Timberline than just Palmer. This year, I don't know... I don't want to drive for 2.5 hours and pay $40 to ski on the glacier, but the longer we go without new snow, the more my resolve is weakened.
Dammit, I want to fucking go skiing!
Anyway... I need to re-evaluate this headache and make a decision to either suck it up and get some work done, or throw in the towel and go home.
Please send me some positive headache-free thoughts!
... and yes... that was a Huey Lewis reference. ;)
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2 comments:
First of all, I miss skiing, but the lack of cartilage in my knees keeps me in the lodge. I loved moguls. Not very knee friendly. The way your muscles burned and felt all noodley after a good day on the slopes is the best. So, I hear ya about skiing.
Think about the blog and what you show to friends and family.
I have two blogs. One for everybody and one just for me. My dude has read the Grapevine, and I feel it's fairly vanilla enough that he doesn't get bent about anything on it. My mom reads it too. I guess a few 3D friends read it. I've changed the url (as you know) because others got a hold of it and I wasn't so comfortable.
The other blog is just disturbing. It bitches about whatever is going on in my life that isn't quite right and it can be fairly cruel. I open myself up and let it bleed. It is NOT for anybody but me. It's a form of therapy for me. My dude has read it and there are a lot of things on it that really bother him. He reads it because he knows that's what's going on in my head that I don't want to talk about. I guess it gives him insight. But, it still bothers him. And we've been together 20 years.
Think long and hard about opening up your head for your sweetie. It's not a bad thing, but sometimes it opens a can of worms you might not be ready for.
I hope your head feels better soon. Seems to be the season for headaches.
Eat some chocolate or bacon. I heard they are good for what ails you! :0)
I know exactly how you feel with the headaches. :( *hugz*
I think the weather is at least partly responsible, what with the stupid pressure changes & all. It was -20°C (around -4°F) here yesterday, and it gave me a friggin' toothache. As soon as the snow started to fall, the temp went up and my mouth felt better.
Skiing is NOT something I'm good at, so I tend to be a lounge lizard. :) The few times I've *tried* to ski, I've probably looked like Tiny Tim on crack, so I no longer attempt it. My favorite winter sport is chasing snowflakes. ^__^
It's sweet that your boy wants to read your blogs, but then what if you lose the one totally objective venue you have for venting? Like Jenn, I have two places - one online, where I write whatever, and one old-school journal where I write all my deep, dark secrets. Lack of technology can be kind of fun, sometimes. ^_~
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